I am searching for my flying bra

Brenda’s closet. I don’t want to set off the thing in security.

Remember when it was fun to fly? I do. It was a big deal–you dressed nice–the seats were comfortable. You got snacks and drinks for free–you got meals for free! Pretty ladies brought you magazines, newspapers, blankets, and pillows! I remember being bumped to first class (without asking) on red eye flights just because we were poor college students and there were empty seats! You could even smoke!!!

I have to fly to see a friend. This creates huge stress for me as I now HATE air travel (except with my sister). Hate airports. Hate planes. All of it. Seats are so small, there is no leg room unless you are a hobbit, and you’re jammed in so tight that you can’t turn the page on a magazine. Can’t cross your legs. If the person in front of you reclines his seat, you can’t even hold a book.

And then—there is security. Please. I try to wear no metal–no underwire, no zippers, no jewelry, and yet, I have been pulled out of line almost every time, to be wanded or patted down. Once, in Atlanta, I was herded into a large glass cage in the middle of the airport with a lot of other women. Weird and annoying. We had to wait for them to find a woman who could pat us down. I think it was the size of our breasts—!!! We were all wired (underwired), and somehow that was a danger! Some of us missed our connecting flights. No apologies.

That’s when I decided NO MORE!!!! So now it’s elastic waistband, flats, loose sweater, sport bra (no underwire), no jewelry– I have a knot in my stomach…and I still have the flight to deal with.

Boo to the airlines. I’m going to look into trains. Wish me luck. Mad Brenda